Do

• Treat the recipient as the same person you have always known.
• Handwrite your message if possible. People look for handwritten words in addition to the commercial message in a greeting card.
• For someone who will get well, express your concern for his or her well-being, and send your wishes for recovery. “I hope you’re doing well and are on the road to recovery. We miss you and look forward to seeing you back at the office.”
• For someone who is not going to get well, send your care and concern and relate something personal if possible. “I see you’re getting excellent care. You’re on my mind, especially when I look at the roses you helped me plant last year. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.”
• If you find it difficult to write, Use a phrase such as "I don't know what to say," or "Words are inadequate at a time like this," rather than talking about how difficult it is to write a note
• For someone facing a long illness or who someone needs constant care, write to both patient and caregiver. “I hope the treatments are going well. Please know that I am thinking of both Mary and you.”
• Offer to visit if you can and if you think company would be welcome. Even someone seriously ill is likely to appreciate a short visit.
• Make a specific offer of help if you are in a position to do so. “I’ll call Friday to see if I can drop off some cookies that your visitors might enjoy.”
• Re-read your note to see how you would feel if you received it

Don’t

• Mention the diagnosis if you haven’t been told officially. Some people prefer to keep their medical matters private.
• Send a get well card to someone who is not going to get well. Choose a card that says “thinking of you’, or send a general, non-greeted card.
• Discuss your own illnesses in detail.
• Impose your view of what should happen. “You should be up and about in no time,” or, “remember to keep a positive attitude.” If the patient does not meet your expectations, she’ll feel she let you down.
• Tell someone "I know how you feel", unless you have been through an identical situation. Even with that, people heal differently
• Say anything religious unless you know the patient well and are absolutely sure it will be appropriate
• Use overly dramatic language, such as "affliction" or "tragedy."
• Provide the too-general offer of help, "If there is anything I can do, please let me know." It gives a sick person one more decision to face
• Say anything religious unless you know the patient well and are absolutely sure it will be appropriate